Feb 23, 2012

Great fun

[This happened over a year ago when I was working at a Taco Bell in the wilderness of Oregon. For no reason I haven't bothered posting it until now.]

A co-worker and I were talking about the State Fair.
A woman eating alone at a nearby table looked up and said,

"I ran away with the carnival for a year once. Came back pregnant. It was a lot of fun though. Great fun."

[Has Bruce Springsteen written a song about this?]

Photo by Diane Arbus

Apr 16, 2011

"It is believed the bean jam in his head gives him sustenance."

I don't have it in me to say anything about the Neil deGrasse Tyson stuffs I've been watching on YT, in part because I can't grip the content too well


He reminds me of the anime character Anpanman with his big dark eyes and round cheeks and Ghost of Christmas Present atmosphere

Anpanman's great because
) his superpower is hearing/listening
)) his head is made of bread
))) he feeds his head to the hungry

Neil deGrasse Tyson nourishes the public with his brain while still being engagingly cute and therefore accessible for non-sciencies like me.

. . . Or maybe just outright bait for non-sciencies like me

Sometimes he gets no-nonsensical in a way that feels plowing, like with some veins of Christianity, like "THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH", like a barking dog.
But only ocassionally, and even then - a barking dog who's barking because he wants to show you something

Here's a bit from the Wikipedia entry on Anpanman:

His name comes from the fact that he is a man with a head made of bread (Japanese: pan, a loanword from the Portuguese word meaning "bread") that is filled with Red bean paste (Japanese: an) called an anpan. He doesn't need to eat or drink to sustain himself and has never been seen eating. It is believed the bean jam in his head gives him sustenance. His weakness is water or anything that makes his head dirty. He regains his health and strength when Jam Ojisan bakes him a new head and it is placed on his shoulders. Anpanman's damaged head, with Xs in his eyes, flies off his shoulders once a new baked head lands. He was created when a shooting star landed in Uncle Jam's oven while he was baking. He has two special attacks called: An-punch and An-kick (with stronger variations of both). When Anpanman comes across a starving creature or person, he lets the unfortunate creature or person eat part of his head. He also has super hearing in that he can respond to anyone that calls his name out in distress from anywhere in the world.

Apr 10, 2011

modeling lessons with Captain Kirk

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Apr 9, 2011

The Clubhouse

screencaps TrekCore

Apr 4, 2011

Come Back Margaret (Camera Obscura)

I came across this by chance a couple months ago, and I've been waiting for my birthday to post it -


(And besides being OBVIOUSLY ABOUT ME . . . it's a good song.
I like that towny violin and clap-drum librarian boogie-hop.)


Come back, Margaret,
he wants to adore you
Come back, Margaret,
I'd like to explore you

Can't you see the tears in my eyes?
With the love for him I disguise

I like the free days with no expectations
I like it my way with no limitations

Don't you see there are tears in my eyes?
With the love for him I despise

Darling, you will always be around
whether my mood's up or if it's down
In dreams I've tried to take you far away
but you never stay
no, you never stay


"I don't believe, by any means, that I've even begun to do what's inside me."
- Peter Sellers in a press conference c. late 1960's (makes him around 40)

A family member was telling me (in a gentler way than this) that
I don't know myself
I need to wake up
I'm almost 20 years old
stop being so idealistic

Since these are things I've heard from myself, it bothered me that someone else was saying them.

I'd been telling Family Member how I felt bad about being a college drop-out (for now) and living with my parents (for now) and working at Taco Bell (for now). (And then there's the feeling bad about feeling bad like, what? do I think I'm entitled to more? blah blah blah)
They pointed out, as if I'd forgotten (I had), that no one forced me to leave college.

I'm 20, and I know I'm only 20. But I'm remembering something Charlotte Bronte said about your morning being a template for your day and if you haven't accomplished anything by 12noon, the whole day's shot.

I don't even remotely agree, but it still gets me nervous.

When my mom was my age, she was in Baja, Mexico with people who wore only white and ate only fruits and nuts. My dad was posing nude for art classes. The two of them met and lived in a teepee for a while before going to a night church service and getting affiliated and married and having 8 kids and voting Republican.
So there's no telling.

Usually when I think of no telling, it's a happy feeling clenched around enormous fear, like
it's not too late for things to get really good
even though it's not too late for things to get really awful.

I remember what I wore for my 6th birthday and how, before the party --- you have to know what I wore? a white pink-cuffed shirt with a rose patch on the chest and a denim vest --- how before the party I was propped up on my hands on the bathroom counter in front of the mirror in total admiration; I couldn't believe what a great, beautiful, cool, delightful Thing I was, and I remember trying to imagine myself as an adult - how much more great/beautiful/cool/delightful I'd be.

At 20 I'm still 6 but without so much self-satisfaction; with the idea of being tremendously g/b/c/d by, say, 30, (even though it's not too late for things to get really awful).

Last night, I looked back in my journal to see what I'd written about turning 19:
"Scared of 19. But always scared. It's ok."

And I'd written down something Captain Kirk apparently said:
"You have so much to learn. Learn it."

That made me buck at first, seemed agressively rigorous, reminded me of the Charlotte Bronte noon quote.
But then, it's different, like
It's ok that you have a lot to learn and will never learn all of it or any of it by 12noon. Just go on ahead and go on ahead.

Captain's orders.

This morning I'm going to a (free!) tax-help appointment at the Pentecostal Church. It seems pretty symbolically dreary to be doing taxes on your birthday, but the appointment's at 9 and we'll be long-done by noon and
there's the rest of the day

Apr 3, 2011

A (late) Birsdey Macro

I wanted to post this March 5th, Fresca's birthday, but some things went haywire with the PC. All better now. Anyway, she's newly 50 (the Freska, not the PC), so . . .